21 December 2015

‘Concerning Quality, Again’: J.H. Prynne’s Christmas Cracker Jokes

Posted by John Clegg

What do you get if you eat the Christmas decorations?
Such persons are hungry; the rival / ventures his life in deep water, the reddish gold / glints in the shadows of our lustful solitude.

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
The open question over and under and wasted / as childish carols, ripe well before time.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Under constant erasure, cutting out the bottom dish.

Why did Santa apologise to Rudolph?
Remorse is a pathology of / syntax…

When is a boat like snow?
As or like / sure, arrow too near in wet shoes.

What did the policeman say to Santa?
Arrest / is sprung up, hope holds it, wish / wears its diadem

How did Luke Skywalker know what he was getting for Christmas?
The cruel child is elevated this morning / by the prospect of careful memories. How he / turns warmly into the shade, how he would / like to lay open his left arm.

Knock Knock
Who’s there
Kaz who?
Kazoo Dreamboats or, On What There Is (Cambridge: Critical Documents, 2011)

[All quotes from Poems (Bloodaxe, 2015): p.70, p.255, p.426, p.233, p.666, p.204, p.182.]